The New Romeo and Juliet

Kara Borden and boyfriend, David Ludwig,were caught yesterday after Ludwig allegedly shot Borden's parents with a single wound to the head. Ludwig is suspected of killing the parents over Kara's curfew. "It's completely insane, completely insane," Lancaster County, Pa., Coroner G. Gary Kirchner said. "This isn't a Romeo-and-Juliet deal. This is far worse than that."

Yes, it is far worse. At least when the star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet, were barred from seeing each other by their families, they took their own lives. As sad as this may be, they made the decision to kill themselves and did not take others down with them. Now, the former internalizers of aggression are externalizing their anger outwardly. This external use of anger should come as no surprise to the parents of today's teens. American culture worships youth, puts few boundaries on kids (except at school and only as a hypocritical reactive measure) and teaches kids that there are no consequences for their behavior. Even if a parent teaches their kid that no means no--there are peers, television and the wider society that sends the message to kids that they are in charge.

Parents are not allowed to discipline kids for fear that they will land in jail. All kids now know the drill that if they get mad at mom or dad, they can report them to the authorities for child abuse. Even if they never do it, kids realize the threat it holds over their parent's heads. I have talked to many girls in my work as a psychologist who have turned in their father or stepfather for "hitting them" out of anger and revenge. Other parents are also so busy trying to get their kids to like them (God forbid they should be put into the position of being an authority figure--they might end up looking like George Bush or one of those other white men who see the world in moral terms) that they let their kids get away with murder at home and elsewhere. People may think it is cute when a little kids gets his way (I don't, I cringe) but in the end--a teen who will not compromise and insists on getting his or her own way is never an asset and can be a timebomb.

Update: Flavor Country has a good post on the "kidnapping" of Kara Borden. If the tables were turned and we had a fourteen year old boy and eighteen year old girl--would they even have put out an Amber Alert?