For Men, it's 1962

Men seem to be in the shape that women were--in 1962, and what is painfully clear is that most don't even know it or care. Every time I read about women's plight in the sixties and seventies, I realize that men are now being treated in much the same way. Yet, just like so many women then, they rarely acknowledge the extent of the discrimination that is taking place. One of the reasons is that society tells men, particularly white ones, that they hold special privilege in the United States. But as Scott Adams (from the hilarious Dilbert cartoons) says, "those are other men." The truth is, many average guys lead a life of quiet desperation or worse. At the extreme end of discrimination are men who cannot get help if they are battered. Here are quotes from men who have been verbally or emotionally abused--by women:

"Funny, at the time I told myself I deserved it."

"Here's the kicker. I am a mental health professional, social worker and marriage and family therapist. I had blinders on like most guys. I interpreted her behavior as emotional disturbance, and would often sit up all night trying to comfort her after one of these episodes."

"We've tried to find help for him but all of the shelters just answer in silence. It's a shame how he was treated by the police and that there are no shelters or groups to help men, they need it every bit as much as women."

These are the same lines that women had before they became aware that domestic violence was a crime. Yet, they are from men who have been battered and abused--by women. In an excerpt from a new book by prosecutor Jeanine Pirro, she describes domestic violence against women in New York in the 1970's. "..too many people, including those in law enforcement, didn't believe it was a serious matter. Worse still, they treated it like a joke. There was a saying at the time, `Every woman should be taken with a grain of assault.' How could such a sentiment produce laughs?" Well, apparently, those laughs are now reserved for battered men.

Just ask Jan Dimmitt, who is the Executive Director of an emergency support shelter in current times, who states, "Whenever I speak of male abuse, I am met by disbelief and, even worse, laughter. ... I notice in talking with other shelter staff throughout the state that this attitude prevails in the other shelters, too -- men are the perpetrators, women are the victims."

Well, obviously, the judicial system thinks women are victims and men are expendable, otherwise why would women spend so little time in prison for killing their husbands? The Bureau of Justice Statistics found that on average, convicted wives received prison sentences that were about 10 years shorter than what husbands received. Excluding life or death sentences, the average prison sentence for killing a spouse was 6 years for wives but 16.5 years for husbands.

I thought we were supposed to be beyond gender stereotypes, but I guess I was wrong. We've just traded in the old ones for new ones.