Our New Home for the Glenn and Helen Show

Our podcast--The Glenn and Helen show--has now joined with Pajamas Media at their new site, politicscentral.com. Stop by and take a look.

Podcast with Senator John McCain

We were very pleased to have Senator John McCain of Arizona do his first podcast ever with us. Senator McCain takes time out of his busy schedule to speak with us about a number of important political issues including immigration, campaign finace reform, gun control, and pork spending. He has some good advice on anger management for those of us with blogs. In addition, we ask him about his run for the 2008 Presidential election--is Condi going to be his running mate? Tune in and find out.

You can listen to the podcast here or subscribe via iTunes. You can access our archives at the GlennandHelenShow.com. Those with dial-up can listen here. Please leave any comments or suggestions below.

Podcast with Chris Anderson, Editor in Chief of Wired

Today we interview Chris Anderson, the editor in chief of Wired, about his new book, The Long Tail : Why the Future of Business Is Selling Less of More. He has good news for all of us who have quirky or imaginative wares to sell (books, videos, etc., music)--we may not have a big hit on our hands but there is almost always a niche market for everyone's talents and products. And thanks to the new world of the Internet and technology, products are getting cheaper to make and market. For example, my DVD of Six cost me just $25,000 to produce and it found a home on the Internet as well as colleges and Universities. I never could have done this ten or fifteen years ago. Anderson coined the term "The Long Tail" to describe this phenomenon in which the combined value of modest sellers and quirky titles equals the sells of the top hits. If you want to know more about the future of business, take a listen to the discussion.

You can listen to the podcast here or by subscribing via iTunes. And for those stuck with dialup connections, there's a lo-fi version here. You can also see our podcast archives at GlennandHelenShow.com. Leave any comments and suggestions below.

Women Behaving Badly on the Internet

Have you noticed how many women think they can use the internet to make threats against toddlers, flash their tits, and air their dirty laundry in public, all without repercussions? I have read that women are often afraid to comment on blogs because they do not want to stand up to criticism. However, it seems that there is also the opposite extreme: those women who think that they can say and do anything and no one is supposed to take notice or hold them accountable.

My guess is that these women feel so ineffectual that they do not believe anyone would take them seriously, kind of like when a woman slaps a man, it is seen as funny since she is so "powerless." On the other side, there is the possibility that these nutjobs have such a sense of entitlement (reinforced by society) that they can get away with saying and doing anything. Luckily, people are catching on to these nutcases and taking action-- for example, the professor who threatened Jeff Goldstein's toddler lost her job. (The whole sad story is here.)

Good for Goldstein for standing up for women's rights everywhere by holding this woman accountable and not letting her off the hook--maybe women will learn that their actions are not as ineffectual and powerless as they would have others believe. And for those who suffer from a sense of entitlement just because they are women? Maybe a dose of reality will help those women realize what men have always known--freedom and justice requires people to be responsible for their own actions, regardless of gender.

Update: I have nothing against boob flashers myself and frankly, think it's fine. What I object to and should have made more clear in my post is that the boob flasher in this case is Diane York Blaine, a professor, who is upset with conservatives, saying they are out to get her etc. as she dares to expose herself and her tits. However, the reality seems to be that she discriminates against men and is in the classroom preaching that all men are pigs and complicit in rape and when others call her on this--she then seems not to be able to deal with it and obviously thinks her "cute" antics with her boobs make her free. In other words, she thinks that because she is a woman, she can get away with this outrageous behavior. Imagine the reverse--a male professor says all women are sluts in class--than shows his penis on his website and thinks no one should hold him accountable. What do you think, could a male professor get away with this behavior? If so, have him email me so I can write up a case study.

Dr. Melissa has thoughts on blogger personality types. What do you think--do bloggers have personality types or are they a diverse group of "strange" individuals who just happen to like the internet?

Carnival of the Insanities

The Carnival of the Insanities is up at Dr. Sanity's blog.

Podcast on North Korea and Missiles

Today, we are discussing the missile tantrum in North Korea with Austin Bay of the Austin Bay Blog and Jim Dunnigan of Strategy Page. They discuss the psychological and political problems with the North Koreans as well as the Japanese and Chinese reaction to the North Koreans having nuclear weapons. We also touch on the foiled plot to blow up the Holland Tunnel in New York and what's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here or subscribe via iTunes here. There's a low-fi version for dialup users here. You can also see our complete podcast archives here. Please leave any comments or suggestions below.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The 27th Carnival of Homeschooling is up at Tami's blog. The 28th Carnival of Homeschooling is requesting submissions at the Why Homeschool Blog. If you would like to send in an entry, you can do so here.

Obesity, Buffets and Political Correctness

Dr. Wes, who is of normal weight, notes that at a recent hotel buffet, he was one of the skinniest guys in the room:

So the next morning we came downstairs for breakfast. It was remarkable how many people there were obese. Not just a little overweight. I mean obese. It was striking. And the place was packed to capacity. Tons of people (I mean that literally) having their breakfasts of biscuits and gravy, sweet rolls, cereal, french toast, orange juice, coffee, eggs and sausage, before heading out for the day. I wondered if others noticed the same phenomenon. Now I'm no anorexic, but for me to be one of the skinniest guys there was striking - the average body mass index there seemed to exceed the national deficit.

Dr. Wes also notes that doctors are now being told not to tell kids that they are fat. According to this USA Today article, the CDC has decided that to refer to kids as obese or fat could mislabel or "traumatize" them.

Are our kids such hot house flowers that the truth about their condition is enough to send them over the edge? If so, their obesity, at risk of being overweight, fat or lard etc. is the least of our problems.

Update: Eden at Justonebite has some more thoughts on the expense of healthy food as well as the time needed to prepare healthier foods. Just this morning, Glenn and I were discussing using minute rice for dinner instead of the slow cooked brown rice which is supposedly better for you. The reason for the minute rice? Neither one of us wants to take the time to cook the real stuff for 45 minutes. To tell you the truth, I am absent-minded (i.e. surfing the internet lost in blogland) and usually end up burning the rice and/or starting a fire. Then the meal is ruined and I feel really stupid whereas with the minute rice, I just pop it in the microwave and push one button and feel like a chef.

Update II: It seems that the comments about those who are overweight are reflective of the dichotomy in our society between those who are prejudiced against the overweight and those who think people should be treated as human beings regardless of their size. I have witnessed people who are so fearful and prejudiced against the overweight that they cease to see them as human and think that they should lose weight before presenting themselves to the world. This is hogwash.

Is being overweight a health issue? Maybe, but so what? Is that any reason to make cruel remarks to people's face about their condition or pay someone less because they are overweight? People are so concerned with appearance that their manners and humanity have gone out the window--maybe we should get some of it back. Perhaps a little less emphasis on looks and a little more on treating others with some decency is more warranted than accusing others of being an eyesore. That cruel behavior, in my opinion, is worse than weighing 500 pounds. Does this mean that doctors and professionals should not bring up weight issues if it is for health reasons? Of course they should. However, that is a different issue then accusing others of being morally bankrupt, lazy or just plain slothful just for weighing too much. One could say the same about those who treat others like trash, just because they can't regulate their cruel behavior.

Fun with Defibrillators

No one feels very good about having a serious disease--be it heart disease, cancer, or a multiple of other scary diagnoses. However, there is a lighter side to having medical problems that I have just discovered anew this week. I am not sure what is going on at my local mall, but apparently, the metal detectors that screen for shoplifters have been reset to be more sensitive. Since getting my cardioverter implantable defibrillator last year, I can count on one hand how many metal detectors I have set off because of the metal in my device.

However, while shopping at the mall this week, I set off every detector I went near or by. At first, I was annoyed and with my pissed-off look, no clerks dared to stop me or ask me about the detector going off. I know that these things are set off frequently by other items but the rate they were going off the day I was shopping got to be comical. At one point, two teenage girls were behind me as the metal detector went off. I turned to see the store manager stopping the girls to ask them about the contents of their large purses. Me, I just saundered over to a bench, sat back and watched the show. Dark humor, yeah, I know, but give me a break--sometimes, being a medical freakshow has its sick twisted side.

My defibrillator has also gotten me some funny stories this week. I went in to see my electrophysiologist to check out my device. He and his staff looked rather disgusted and put out. As a psychologist, I couldn't help but ask them what the problem was. The physician's assistant just shook his head and said, "well, the patients we have here just don't listen. We just got a late call for an emergency from one of our patients this week who is about 70 years old. He has a defibrillator and heart problems and he is out drinking and partying with two hookers and his brother. He gets dehydrated from all of the alcohol, then has sex with the hookers and gets his heart rate over the recommended limit, then gets in a fight with his brother, his defibrillator goes off, shocks both of them, they fall down and end up in the emergency room. Then it's our problem." Somehow, the image of this guy and his brother being shocked in a drunken stupor seems more comical than anything. I realize it is serious but I have to admire the tenacity of these guys to party like this and live life with such gusto. Me--I'm sitting home drinking water and doing yoga. Who is having more fun?

Okay, maybe the hookers and high levels of booze are out for me--but the zest for life and lack of fear is frankly, more uplifting than scanning the internet about my condition and being convinced that each heartbeat is my last. After hearing another story about a patient of my doc's who has survived 66 shocks with his defibrillator, I would rather err towards throwing caution to the wind and enjoy life while I can then dwell on fear and doom. That, in the end, no matter how long each of us live, would be the biggest misfortune of all.

Update: Well, apparently Dick Cheney is not having as much fun as the guys I wrote about above (you know, the sex, hookers and all) as his defibrillator has not gone off yet. I guess running the country means means you have to take life a little more seriously.

The Carnival of Homeschooling

The 26th Carnival of Homeschooling is up at The Homeschool Cafe.

I thought this post about getting kids off sugar was interesting. I don't know if it improves behavior--maybe health--for those who don't process it well. Someone in the comments to the sugar post mentioned having problems if they eat Splenda--a sugar-free substitute. I notice that with any type of aspartame (nutrasweet), I get headaches and feel weird--although, I have read that this is common. I switched to Splenda but find I still feel rather sick if I eat too much of it. Anyone else have a sensitivity to sugar substitutes?

Podcast on the End of Medicine

Do you ever wonder if your doctor is really doing a thorough job when you go in for your yearly physical? I do. You go in and he/she hits your knee with a rubber hammer, runs a few blood tests and asks about any symptoms--all the time, checking their watch to make sure they can get to the next patient. What if a tumor is growing inside you or your arteries are clogging up faster than last night's dinner in the drain of your kitchen sink? Wouldn't you want to know in advance so that treatment could be started immediately before your life is threatened? Well, soon you might.

Today we are joined by Andy Kessler, the author of the new book, The End of Medicine : How Silicon Valley (and Naked Mice) Will Reboot Your Doctor. He talks to us about new technology (including his exerience with having a virtual colonoscopy), how Silicon Valley can assist in bringing healthcare prices down to scale, and how socialized medicine might be an impediment to living longer.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here or via subscribing to iTunes. There's a lo-fi version for dialup here, and a complete podcast archive here. You can leave any suggestions or comments below.

Desperate for Friends?

There was an interesting article today in the Knoxville News Sentinel entitled Personal Bonds about a study at Duke University showing how "socially isolated" Americans are today as compared to 1985:

Americans are far more socially isolated today than they were two decades ago, and a sharply growing number of people say they have no one in whom they can confide, according to a comprehensive new evaluation of the decline of social ties in the United States.

A quarter of Americans say they have no one with whom they can discuss personal troubles, more than double the number who were similarly isolated in 1985. Overall, the number of people Americans have in their closest circle of confidants has dropped from around three to about two...

Compared with 1985, nearly 50 percent more people in 2004 reported that their spouse is the only person they can confide in. But if people face trouble in that relationship, or if a spouse falls sick, that means these people have no one to turn to for help, Smith-Lovin said.

The comprehensive new study paints a sobering picture of an increasingly fragmented America, where intimate social ties - once seen as an integral part of daily life and associated with a host of psychological and civic benefits - are shrinking or nonexistent. In bad times, far more people appear to suffer alone.

Smith-Lovin said increased professional responsibilities, including working two or more jobs to make ends meet, and long commutes leave many people too exhausted to seek social - as well as family - connections: "Maybe sitting around watching 'Desperate Housewives' ... is what counts for family interaction."

I wonder what this "friendless" society means in terms of people's behavior? For example, do disturbed people commit more mass murder in the US because they are so isolated and when pushed to the limit, feel they have nowhere to turn and no one to talk to? Is this study even correct--do people really stay away from others because they are so exhausted from work and long commutes, or is Desperate Housewives just more entertaining than exchanging verbal pleasantries with the neighbors? Finally, what is a friend and how do you define one? Frankly, I have people other than family I could count on to help out in certain situations and vice versa but I am not sure I would call them friends.

What do readers think--do you have any friends and if so, who do you consider a friend? If you don't have any friends, why not?

Update: Thanks to all the commenters so far who have written in to describe their desire or lack of desire for friends. As with most psychological characteristics, I think the need for friends spans a wide spectrum with some of us being outside the "norm" (whatever that means) in either direction. I will take the liberty of using some of the comments on friendship to clarify the spectrum of responses to closeness to other human beings.

Take for example, this commenter who describes friendship as so important that he puts in the effort even after moving:

"This entire thread is alien to me. I'm 60 years old and I have many friends. I'm still in contact with some of my friends from high school and college, even though I've lived in five different states since then and have never moved back "home". I've kept in contact with some people I've worked with, worked for and who worked for me. This took effort over the years."

Another commenter also prefers to "run like a pack":

I come from an "old world" culture where one's tight circle of friends - no more than half a dozen plus their significant others - was the be all and end all of one's world. One's family, essentially. Talk all the time, hang out all the time, go on trips together, essentially run like a pack; then co-raise one another's children and grow old together.

Yet at the other end, commenters describe being alone as a positive condition:

"Anon 5:40 says 'I'm a loner by nature and very happy that way.' Me too! I have a life-long friend, but I've not talked to him in 2-3 years and haven't seen him in close to 10. I haven't called him and he hasn't called me, but eventually when one of us does we'll pick up like we talked yesterday. Then go back into hibernation mode. I've always liked the line in the movie 'Heat' where the girl with a large family asks the DeNiro character with no family who lives alone, whether he's lonely. He replies, 'I live alone, but I'm not lonely.' Sums it up nicely, though a fictional bank robber as an example may not make a viable point!"

Some of us want friends but don't know how to get them:

"I try to think of myself as a 'lone wolf' but I am not. I am just the mangy pack member circling the group, trying to figure out where I might fit in, even only for a while."

'Friendships are a mystery to me. I'm 37, and still not sure how to 'make friends.'"

I think the lesson here is that friendship means different things to different people. Our threshold for human contact differs--some of us enjoy being alone, some are alone because they have no idea about how to make friends and others revel in numerous friendships and get joy from them. People affect people differently--if you are energized by people and feel pleasure in being with others (a typical extrovert), then friendships can be postive, but if you tend towards introversion, then people can sometimes exhaust you and make you feel blue instead of energized--perhaps more boundaries are needed to maintain your emotional health.

However, even an introvert may need other people--even one person who you can talk with and share some of yourself in ways that feel safe. I don't want to get into too many cliches such as 'if you want a friend, be a friend' but it is probably true. In addition, even if you do not have close friendships in your life, I think it is important to be willing to help others in times of need. I personally may not want to sit on my back porch chatting with a neighbor, but I would be happy to help them if they needed a hand (finding a lost dog, borrowing a tool, watching their house while they are on vacation etc.). If we could keep ourselves open to reaching out to others in times of need, yet still realize that we may need boundaries in our interactions with others, our lives would be greatly improved.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The 25th Carnival of Homeschooling is up at HomeSchoolBuzz.com.

Why Dads Matter.

Update: The commenters in this post as well as previous ones seem to enjoy conversing with our prolific commenter on this blog, Greg Kuperberg. Greg now has his own blog where you can comment directly to him at The Quantum Group blog.

Walking on Eggshells: Dealing with the Borderline in Your Life

Many times, patients or others ask me for a recommendation for a book or help for dealing with an angry, destructive person who is ruining their emotional health. My recomendation for a self-help book when coping with the aftermath of the borderline personality is Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder. But first of all, what is a borderline and how do know if that is what you are dealing with?

Certainly, one cannot diagnose someone without evaluating them, but many times, the descriptions people give me of their significant other, parent, child, or friend leads me to wonder if the advice seeker is dealing with a borderline. The DSM-IV describes the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder as:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5)

2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating; [not including] suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5).

5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

7. chronic feelings of emptiness.

8.inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

There are even books on how to divorce a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality that give strategies to reduce the damage done to a person during the process. In a book entitled, "Splitting," one section looks at how a borderline can convince your own lawyer that they are right and turn the lawyer against you--I believe it and have seen it happen. I have worked in places where people believe that a borderline must be right because they are "intelligent." Intelligence and craziness are not separate traits--sometimes, someone who is intelligent can be even more emotionally damaging because they are smart enough to carry out manipulations that others can only dream about. So what do you do when encountering the borderline in your life?

Here are some tips from "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (page 140) with some of my own advice thrown in--for brevity's sake, I will list just a few, but if you want more detail-- get the book or go to BPD Central.

1) Stop "sponging" and start "mirroring"--that is, some of those involved with borderlines tend to soak up the borderline's pain and rage and think this is helpful, but in reality, it is like filling up a black hole of emptiness and nothing is good enough. You can try to placate the borderline and work hard to give them love, care etc. but it is never enough. Instead--reflect the painful feelings of the borderline back where they belong--with the borderline.

2) Stay focused and observe your limits. Show by your actions that you have the bottom line. Communicate the limits clearly and act on them consistently. Protect yourself and your children by removing them and yourself from the situation. For example, if a borderline flies into a rage and starts accusing you of things you did not do, tell him or her that you will be taking the kids out until they calm down and you can talk later.

3) Ask the borderline for change. Figure out your personal limits (get help from a therapist if needed) and communicate these to the borderline in a clear manner. However, ask for changes in behavior, not necessarily for changes in feelings--that is, you can ask them to change the behavior of yelling at you, but don't tell them not to be angry.

Finally, the best advice for those who are not yet involved legally with a borderline is a statement I heard from a colleague recently, "Borderlines make great girlfriends (or boyfriends) but you wouldn't want to marry one."

That, I think, sums it up in a nutshell--no offense, but the damage I have seen on victims of those who have borderline personality is not something to be taken lightly. People say that those with BPD can change but often times, they wreck havoc on their spouses, children and/or parents and the abuse lasts a lifetime. Children of those with BPD have trouble in future relationships by seeking out the love of the BPD that they could never get or by avoiding people in the future for fear of more emotional blackmail. Spouses of the BPD seem devastated and often end up with lives of quiet desperation or in the throes of accusations in court and parents end up believing that they are inadequate and incompetent. None of it sounds promising.

Have any readers been involved with a borderline personality disorder--either married to one, or have a parent, child or friend with this disorder-and if so, how did you cope?

Update: Some readers have emailed or asked for more information on a promising treatment for BPD called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Take a look at Behavioraltech.com for answers about DBT.

Carnival of the Insanities

The Carnival of the Insanities is up at Dr. Sanity's place.

Happy Father's Day

Hope all my readers who are dads are having a great day!

Ann Althouse has an interesting post about what schools would be like if they favored boys in the same way that schools now favor girls. Take a look.

Do These Women Exist?

A reader (thanks Roger) sent me a link to this article about a new book entitled, Why Men Marry Bitches : A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart. Although I do not care for the title of this book, the kooky part of this author's theme seems to be that there are few confident women (why does this make one a bitch?) but scores of martyrish women floating around just dying to cater to a man's every whim and desire:

As scary as it sounds, this is precisely the approach women are taught on how to catch a husband. It’s the plight of every "nice girl" who puts everyone else first, puts her own needs last, and doesn't think she is worthy of touching the hemline of her man’s pants....

When I polled men, they all said confident women are in very short supply. And that a confident woman is what they find sexiest. Is it any wonder that confident women are hard to come by? Look around. The average fashion magazine tells women to act like a servant, as if dating were a labor-intensive, blue-collar-job application: “Can you serve a cold beer in trashy lingerie? Do you leave razor-sharp creases in his shirts like employee-of-the-month at the Jolly Roger motel? Do you wear cellophane for him? Are you gardening in stilettos? Are you giving it up doggie-style? If so, he'll drop to one knee and propose ...”

Apparently, the author of this tall tale seems to think that women who cater to a man's every need and do everything a man tells them to do are the norm. Does anyone out there even know of such a woman who really truly puts everyone else's needs before her own, brings a guy beer in lingerie and does not think she is worthy of touching the hemline of her man's pants? Honestly, I don't and have never met a woman like that. Maybe I just travel in odd circles. Seriously, does anyone have a story or experience of a woman (a real one) who is still involved in this type of behavior? Because, if so, I have a number of men who are just dying to meet these women. I think that if they actually existed, they have been extinct now since the 1950's. I suspect that women being "too nice" is hardly the reason more men are not dying to get married.

Update: Eden at Just One Bite has some thoughts on this post that make sense.

Custody Problems

Well, even Alec Baldwin can't use his celebrity to get a fair shake with the court system in California. He is being "forced" to see a psychologist to determine if he has emotional problems--I wonder if Ms. Basinger is being "forced" to see a shrink also? I sure hope so, given her prior psychological problems.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The 24th Carnival of Homeschooling is up with a special Father's Day theme.

Podcast: Eye of the Storm

Glenn and I are in Cape San Blas, Florida on vacation enduring the "wrath" of Tropical Storm Alberto. We first pass through Dothan, Alabama where we have the possibility of going to a gun show or a peanut festival and then head to our beachhouse near Apalachicola where we have a hurricane warning. Join us for our brief podcast interviewing a local waitress, teens, and some staff at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store about this treacherous "hurricane". If you have been watching CNN weatherpeople with their ponchos and those 3 feet "killer waves"--don't believe the hype--get the real story in our ground breaking podcast. Glenn and I survived the storm but did have to deal with the horrible aftermath --really, see the overturned chair?

To listen to the podcast, click here or you can subscribe via iTunes. If you would like to comment or make a suggestion on this lame--uh, I mean lovely, podcast, leave it below.

So far, the beach is really beautiful near Cape San Blas, Florida where we are staying except for the limited internet access and cell phone coverage, but I guess most people here want to "get away from it all." Me, I'm an internet addict but having a very nice time swimming in the ocean and watching the waves. There is a "tropical depression" moving in which should be exciting--maybe not exactly Katrina but if it gets exciting, Glenn and I will do a podcast from the deck of our beach house, and just ride out the storm, kind of like Shepard Smith--okay, more like the time Dan Rather held onto a palm tree in some storm that seemed to be going nowhere. So far, the weather looks fine, though.

Update: Well, Tropical Storm/or Hurricane Alberto is on the way to the Gulf coast--wish me luck!

Beach Blogging

Well, Glenn and I have escaped to the beach for a while (with internet access, of course). So blogging may consist of boring details of my beach vacation--or maybe pictures or a podcast of anything I can find of interest. Are other people taking vacations this summer? And if so, do you find them relaxing or do they make you more stressed--I say both for me.

Podcast: Divorce Court 101

Statistics indicate that the divorce rate is high--some say up to fifty percent of marriages in the US end in divorce while others say it is lower, but still high. Are you about to become one of these statistics or know someone who is? Then you have to listen to our dicussion with divorce attorney, Lauren Strange-Boston, who joins us in our studio today to discuss how men and women differ when it comes to negotiating the terms of divorce. We will focus first on what to look for in a spouse in order to avoid divorce, how to find a good divorce attorney if the worst happens and you need one, how to manage your feelings in the most effective way (hint: anger and/or manipulation may not win your case), and what to do if your soon-to-be ex decides to bring charges against you for sexual abuse or other serious allegations.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here (no iPod necessary) or you can subscribe via iTunes here. Here is a link to our podcast archive if you want to listen to previous podcasts here. And there's a low-fi version for dialup users right here.

Please leave any comments or suggestions below

Women's Confidence Day

Apparently, yesterday was declared Women's Confidence Day by Queen Latifah and other women who feel the need to continue the tired program of promoting women's self-esteem (Thanks Allah Pundit). Haven't we drilled into most women's heads enough self-esteem already? Has anyone ever asked whether or not this "self-esteem" is helpful to women and society or not? Pumping women up with fake programs and phony self-esteem seems to do more harm than good--hence the need for books like See Jane Hit : Why Girls Are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About It. It seems that we would spend our time more wisely by teaching women how to actually master real skills such as mathematics, science and engineering then promoting programs that provide a fake, but worthless sense of self. "Radiating confidence" can never substitute for real knowledge and plain hard work.

Should We Have a Fat Tax?

Dave at the Crisper has an interesting post on the possibility of taxing those with a high BMI (Body Mass Index). Should we also consider a tax on crappy genetics or how about just plain bad luck? Because hey, my BMI is 20 and I'm not doing so good in the health department. Could it just be that some people find fat people offensive? I wonder how far the food Nazis are willing to go so that they do not have to bear the unsightliness of the overweight?

Grand Rounds is up over at The Medical Blog Network.

Podcast on Parenting

Today, we are talking with fellow bloggers, James Lileks and Cathy Seipp, on how parenting has changed over the last thirty or so years. Lileks is the author of Mommy Knows Worst : Highlights from the Golden Age of Bad Parenting Advice, which is a hilarious book about the bad parenting advice from the 1940's and 1950's. You can see a review of his book by me here at TCS Daily. Seipp is a columnist at the LA Times and blogger at Cathy's World. She has some interesting ideas about parenting that she shares with us.

You can listen to the podcast here or you can subscribe to us on iTunes by clicking here.

There is an archive of past podcasts here. And there's a lo-fi version for dialup here.

Please leave comments or suggestions below.

Carnival of the Insanities

The Carnival of the Insanities is up at Dr. Sanity's blog. Take at look at number 17--who knew that video games were good for you? Frankly, they never seemed that bad for kids to me.

First Carnival of PsychBloggers

The first Carnival of PsychBloggers is up at OK, I'm Not Really a Cowboy Blog. Go check it out. He also needs crack money according to his donation button. If he's going into the field of psych, it's probably best to support this unfortunate habit-- he'll need all the crack he can get.

Podcast with Peter Beinart

Today we are speaking to Peter Beinart, who is the author of a new book, The Good Fight : Why Liberals---and Only Liberals---Can Win the War on Terror and Make America Great Again. Mr. Beinart is editor at large of The New Republic, a regular writer for Time and a television commentator. He talks with us about his new book, why Democrats are "too nice" to each other, and why only liberals can win the War on Terror. Glenn and I discuss our reaction afterwards and my only conclusion: When a liberal talks about defending America, it's called a "Good Fight" and when a conservative does, it's called imperialism. Read the book and judge for yourself.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here or subscribe on iTunes, which we would appreciate. (It moves us up on the charts.) You can see our podcast archive of other shows here, and there's a dialup version right here.

Please leave any comments or suggestions below.

I am honored to be one of Right Wing New's favorite blogs.

More on Marriage

Is marriage in the US on the rocks like it is in Britain? Apparently, the changing views on marriage are not going to stop the British legal system from stepping in to further control interpersonal behavior as those who are living together will now be subject to similar "rights" of those who are married--and finally, now gay couples will be included in the screw job--I mean rights--that we heterosexuals have suffered with--I mean "benefited" from, for years. (Hat Tip: Hot Air)

BTW, I am not talking about the interpersonal relationship of marriage as a "screw job"--a wonderful relationship is the ultimate reason for marriage, I merely mean that unfair laws regarding marriage can sometimes be a "screw-job."

Do Bipolar Youth Misread Faces?

Web MD points out an interesting study that found that bipolar youth may see hostility even in faces that are neutral:

Compared with those without bipolar disorder, bipolar youths gave higher hostility ratings to the neutral faces and reported being more fearful of those faces, the study shows.

While viewing the neutral faces, bipolar youths' fMRI brain scans showed more activity in the left amygdala, a brain area related to fear, compared with the brain scans of nonbipolar participants.

Which came first: bipolar disorder or seeing hostility in neutral faces? The study doesn't answer that question. It also doesn't show whether bipolar participants felt more irritable or aggressive after viewing neutral faces.

In my clincial experience, I often find that bipolar youth, particularly those who are aggressive, tend to misread social cues--that is, they perceive actual situations as worse than they are or read into people's actions or expressions, more hostility and threatening behavior than is actually there. For example, if someone stares at them, they may perceive it as a threat rather than a look of curiosity. Often a youth who is poor at reading other people's behavior will strike out aggressively in a case where aggression is not called for--whether that is because of fear or anger, or both is sometimes hard to tease out. Teaching youth who are bipolar or potentially aggressive to read faces, nonverbal movements and social interactions more clearly is a first step to teaching better coping skills.

Cathy Young has an interesting post on her recent trip to Israel.

Update: Pictures from her trip are now up.

The Carnival of Homeschooling

The 22nd Carnival of Homeschooling is up at The Common Room. I found this post on how step parents feel about their step kids troubling. What do you think--can step parents care as much about their stepkids as they do about their biological kids?

Who says violence can't sometimes be beneficial? (Hat Tip: Grim's Hall)

Is There Too Much Violence in the Culture or Not Enough?

Reader Patrick sent me this article from CNN describing a new pasttime for men--fight clubs. Apparently, men from the computer tech industries are proving their manhood by beating on each other in organized fight clubs:

Inspired by the 1999 film "Fight Club," starring Brad Pitt and Ed Norton, underground bare-knuckle brawling clubs have sprung up across the country as a way for desk jockeys and disgruntled youths to vent their frustrations and prove themselves.

The article obtains these brilliant nuggets from a couple of sociologists (one from a gender studies department, of course):

Men involved in fight clubs often carry bottled-up violent impulses learned in childhood from video games, cartoons and movies, said Michael Messner, a University of Southern California sociology and gender studies professor.

"Boys have these warrior fantasies picked up from popular culture, and schools sort of force that out of them," he said. In these fantasies, "The good guys always resort to violence, and they always get the glory and the women."

There is also a sadomasochistic thread running through underground fight clubs, said Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at Stony Brook University in New York.

"Real-life fight clubs are the male version of the girls who cut themselves," he said. "All day long these guys think they're the captains of the universe, technical wizards. They're brilliant but empty.

"They want to feel differently. They want to get hit, they want to feel something real."

My interpretation is a little different. Violence is the new sex. Sex used to be forbidden and people went underground to do it--now sex is advocated everywhere--even college campuses hand out free condoms. But now the forbidden fruit in our society is violence and it has gone underground. These men never "learned" violence from video games, cartoons and movies as suggested by one of the sociology professors.

The aggression was innate to begin with but it was never channeled, and instead was stomped out of them in the culture as something wicked, immoral and "male." Perhaps these fight clubs are the new male ritual, like in the olden days when boys went through rituals to become men. The schools and culture have attempted to squash whatever maleness is left in today's men and all they are left with (besides football which is now banned at my daughter's elementary school) are a few underground clubs to artificially practice their manhood. Wouldn't it be better for our culture to accept and teach boys how to sublimate and deal with violence when they are younger so they do not have to grow up to be men so desperate to prove themselves that a broken rib and a thrashing at an "underground" fight club is the only way to prove their manhood?

If You Rule Out Discrimination, You'll Never Find Discrimination

Reader Bob informed me of this editorial in the Rocky Mountain News on the gender gap in graduation rates between boys and girls in Denver public schools. The difference? 9% fewer boys are graduating from high school. Believe it or not, the school system is finally turning its attention to this problem:

Nearly everyone involved with education is troubled by the large and persistent gaps in academic performance among racial and ethnic groups. Now the similarly large gap between boys and girls is beginning to get the serious attention it deserves as well.

But it's when you look at both factors simultaneously that the real puzzlement begins. A News report last week of the graduating class of 2005 in Denver Public Schools found that girls in any ethnic group are more likely to graduate from high school than boys in the same group. And the gaps are so large that black, white and Asian girls all graduate at higher rates than white boys.

We are probably on safe grounds ruling out any intention on the district's part to discriminate against white boys, so what else is going on? And not only in Denver, but in other big-city districts that have similar patterns?

Okay, what safe grounds would that be--that white boys are not discriminated against? Was a study done, did you ask the white boys what they thought? How will "experts" ever figure out the problem if they have already closed their minds to the possibility that their preconceived ideas about boys just might be wrong? Could it be that the schools are run mainly for the benefit of girls? Could girls have been told for the past thirty years to get ahead and get an education while boys are told education is for girls? I don't know--just a guess. But I guess it is easier to say the whole situation is puzzling then to open up a real dialogue with boys and their feelings about school.

The High of Mount Everest and the Lows of Human Behavior

I guess for people who have a dream of climbing Mount Everest, nothing else--not even a person dying--can keep them from their goal (Hat Tip: Ann Althouse). I say that's pitiful. It reminds me of the French tragedy when thousands of elderly died of heatstroke when their kids and the government went on vacation in the month of August. What do you think--would you pass a dying man by to reach the top of a mountain or leave the elderly to die so you could have a vacation?

The Psychology of Confrontation

Have you ever noticed how frightened people are of confrontation--even if it just means the slightest bit of displeasure from another person? Normally, these non-confronters think of themselves as "very good and moral people" and believe the reason they do not confront is to save another's feelings. But in truth, they are so afraid of causing themselves a moment's displeasure, that they will do anything to get out of being direct with another person.

Case in point: one day our office secretary had to be fired. She had been given numerous warnings and told how to improve her performance, but to no avail. She continued to ignore requests to be in the office to answer the phones, call us when patients had important messages and well, you get the idea. Everyone in the office agreed that she needed to be let go, but would not fire her. Finally, I was asked to do the dirty work. As much as I did not like it, I knew that the secretary was bad for business and had to go. Yes, it was a scene. I was direct, told her why we were letting her go and told her I hoped she found other more suitable work. She burst into tears. Naturally, the others in the office had fled.

There have been a number of times in my life that friends, family or others have asked me to assist them in telling somebody no, or give someone information that was very difficult. In some cases, I have done it because no one else would. When my father was sick with cancer, none of my family wanted to tell him that we had hired a nurse to help us as he did not want a stranger in his home. I totally understood but there came a point where we needed medical assistance. No one had the nerve to tell my father and asked me to do it. I did, but not without a great deal of pain and difficulty. But the alternative of having no help was worse.

I sometimes wonder about the difference between people who will confront others in a direct manner and those who will not. I am frequently told that the former group is vicious or insensitive but I think it is just the opposite. It takes a great deal of bravery and self discipline or sometimes kindness to be direct with other people. I am not talking about the kind of confrontation that is just to get one's jollies, like telling someone off, but rather the type of confrontation that makes one unpopular, but is necessary to produce positive, constructive change in the long run. Those who wish to take the moral high ground and lie to themselves about their "superiority" and compassion by avoiding confrontation and having others do their dirty work know deep down what they are. Or they sublimate their feelings by posting anonymously on other people's blogs to say impolite things to people that they would be terrified to confront in the real world.

Is Marriage in Britain on the Rocks?

Here is an article from the Times on the rewritten rules of marriage and divorce in Britain. I found the responses to the debate on the issue of whether or not divorcees should live off their ex-partner's fortunes interesting. I wonder if all of these intrusive rules are why marriage in Britain is "on the rocks?" (Hat Tip: dhdiary blog)

What I find amazing in these divorce cases is that the British legal system sees fit to think that women are entitled to enormous compensation from their rich ex-husbands because they go into the marriage expecting to be wealthy and then, when the marriage ends, they have a "need" to keep up this wealthy standard of living.

Wouldn't the equivalent for men be that a guy expected super hot sex when entering the marriage and once divorced, should be able to expect this from the ex-wife on a regular basis as long as a "need" is present? Maybe men in Britain should bring up this idea to the Parliament and see how it plays out.

The Tea Room

I took my daughter who just graduated from 5th grade to a new Tea Room in Knoxville that features a great selection of teas, finger sandwiches and tiny salads. I had received a gift certificate to this little gem of a shop but frankly, did not think it would be my cup of tea as I imagined a quiet, reserved place full of delicate socialites discussing their latest art, projects, and charities. I, on the other hand, am a loud talker, rather clumsy, and tiny sandwiches are not my thing. However, I admit that I was wrong about the place.

The shop was charming, the staff sported British accents, great tea suggestions and the food was superb. We had vanilla tea with finger sandwiches filled with artichoke and pesto, pimento cheese and salami (which I do not touch but looked pretty yummy). The tiny salad was amazingly good and the atmosphere was luxurious without being obnoxious. The patrons were cheerful and mainly consisted of moms with their newly graduated daughters--mainly from kindergarten. The staff showed my daughter and me their various tea gadgets, showed us how to make decaf teas and gave us some free samples to try. I would definitely go back. Anyone else have a fun rendezvous with their child or children for graduation?

An Interesting Essay

Many of you out there may have already read this essay, The Pussification of the Western Male, by The Other Side of Kim--but I think it is worth re-reading or reading for the first time as it speaks volumes about what is happening to many men in our culture. I do not particularly agree with all of this essay, of course, as a woman, but it does ring true in many areas. Especially where he talks about men not taking a stand against misandry--apparently, it is just easier not to.

Browbeaten into Submission

Now here is a blogger who believes that the proper role for a man in marriage is submission. Actually, the blog of this "Mad Suburban Dad" sounds like it is written by a woman. Apparently, if you don't acknowlege that men should kowtow to women in marriage, act frightened of their spouse's wrath, hide out in a tent like a wuss (see entry 4-4-2006 and 4-11-2006) and say you are "on strike" instead of confronting her, or otherwise kiss up to women at every opportunity--you are pegged as a woman-hater. What do you think--is this "guy's" blog satire or not?

Update: Normally, I do not care what other people write about my blog or me in their own personal blogs--it is usually of little interest. However, in this case of Mad Suburban Dad, I think his blog and commenters speak volumes about the way our society treats men and those of us who are female who do not toe the party line of the virtues of women and the sins of men. Just call them sexist, woman haters, racist or whatever to make them look bad. Sorry MadDad, this type of behavior no longer works--everyone sees through this cheap psychological maneuver.

Mad Dad calls my commenters (and me, by association) "women-haters and the women who love them," yet here are the statements from his commenters regarding myself, Cathy Young, and a woman named Heather:

Well, I have been a reader here for a while now and I have always thought your entries were well written and humorous. I can only hope my marrage is as happy as your is, we should all hope to be as lucky. I went ahead and read those two womens blogs and I have to tell you I am ashamed to be a woman right now. Those two humorless twits are ruining the reputations of women everywhere turning us into nagging humorless bitches who will leave you at the drop of a hat. Accckkkk... they make me sick. I appologize for the rest of us who are not bland, cranky, miserable, lackluster and emotionally repressive.

frankly they sound a couple of jealous ol' BFHs (Bimbo from a Terribly Hot Place ;-)w absolutely no sense of humor to me! I loved the story of the 'well-managed' man and think that tho Mrs Mad-Dad was apparently born a 'Yankee', that she's really a Southern Lady at heart (w all the smarts that being a Lady entails), and you sir are obviously a Gentleman (w all the courtesy that being a Gentleman requires).

Well MadDad, first of all, Heather is an A-hole. You know it, I know it, and the rest of blogland should know it..... I wonder what Dr. Helen & Cathy Young's relationships are like? Tee Hee.

Wow, it sounds like Mad Dad and his commenters are the woman-haters to me.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The 21st Carnival of Homeschooling is up. I found this post entitled, "That's Mrs. Crazy Freaky Nut Job, Young Man!" to be an amusing response from this mom when others act rather shocked at her decision to homeshool:

No, he won't have a blast at school and I'll be his teacher because I'm a crazy freaky nutjob who plans to teach her kids horribly at home, all the while turning them into recluses who will grow up to live in shacks in Montana and mail letter bombs to people. Make me proud kids! At least, that's what it seems like I say because everytime I mention that I'm going to homeschool I get these very odd looks, like I just told my audience that I have airborne VD or something.

Uhh, I thought recluses who mailed letter bombs to people graduated from Harvard.

Podcast with Mary Cheney

Today, we are talking with Mary Cheney about her new book, Now It's My Turn : A Daughter's Chronicle of Political Life. Ms. Cheney worked as her father's campaign manager in the 2000 and 2004 Presidential election and tells us about the trials and tribulations of the job, starting with the fact that she was targeted by Democrats for being the "lesbian daughter of a Republican Vice President." She discusses being part of a political family, her favorite blogs and their importance in politics and the hostility of the media. She tells us what she wants readers to know about her father--that he is not the monster, killer, robot etc. that the media has touted him as. In fact, he is actually a pretty nice guy and a good father who supported her no matter what.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here or you can subscribe on iTunes. You can hear our previous podcasts at the archive here, and there's a dialup version here.

Please leave comments or suggestions below.

Hey Women, Quit Being So Selfish!

If men were writing the advice columns, is this the kind of advice they would give? Are the advice columns written by women really any less selfish?

John Ford, MD, discusses his concerns with the Shangri-la Diet at TCS Daily.

Portion Control

Remember the old drugstores that doubled as diners in your youth? We still have one in Knoxville---Long's Drug Store has just celebrated it's 50th anniversary and has not changed much at all over the years. What's interesting is, neither have the portion sizes of the food. They still serve portions sizes of the past--it's no wonder people were not as fat in the 50's, 60's and 70's. But Long's is unusual--if another restaurant around here tried to cut back on its portion sizes, I have a feeling that it would not last long. We had a place like that downtown--The Elephant Room, an Indian Restaurant, that served the most petite portions I had ever seen. It was also quite expensive. Needless to say, it folded pretty quickly. Luckily for Long's, the portion sizes are small but so is the price. Lunch for two--$7.16 and a tip.

Carnival of the Insanities

Dr. Sanity's Carnival of the Insanities is up.

Can't They Just Hire a Hitman?

I was watching the news tonight when I saw this story about two elderly women befriending homeless men and then allegedly killing them for insurance money. What I found interesting was the way the news story portrayed this tragedy. Instead of focusing on the cruelty of this act, the story seems to ponder the idea that women of this age should not be involved in such dirty work:

Police are investigating two women in their 70s who they believe hatched a scheme to offer two homeless men shelter, then collect more than $2 million in insurance policies after they were killed in hit-and-run crashes.

Police also believe the women may have committed the accidents and were befriending other men to set up more insurance policies.

"Anyone would think that even though they're making financial gains for this, that they would leave the actual dirty work to someone else or hire someone," police Detective Dennis Kilcoyne said. "We're not so sure about that anymore."

What is the point of this remark by the detective--that these ladies should have had better things to do than actually dirty their hands with killing these men? Uhh--detective--did you ever stop to think that women so cruel that they would try to rip off homeless men might resort to anything? Really--shouldn't the point of the story be that potential killers can come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and genders? What a sad story.

Podcast on the Shangri-La Diet

Do you ever groan when a new diet book comes into vogue and people are talking about how little fat or sugar they are eating? Sounds pretty boring. Today, we are talking with Dr. Seth Roberts, the author of The Shangri-La Diet, who actually tells you to drink sugar water and eat olive oil in order to lose weight. Sound impossible? Not so, says Dr. Roberts, a psychology professor at the University of California at Berkeley. Listen to Dr. Roberts tell us about his self-experimentation with his own diet and how he and many others in the blogosphere have lost the weight for good. Hey, I guess we all need all the inspiration we can get with bathing suit season around the corner. You can even join a forum with Dr. Roberts here to discuss the diet and to get support.

Tune in here (no iPod needed) to listen to the podcast or subscribe via iTunes. You can listen to other podcasts at our podcast archive here.

Please leave comments or suggestions below.

Helicopter Parents

I took a quiz at Newsweek to see if I was a "helicopter parent." Okay, so my kid is seven years away from college but I already know that I am not and will never be, a helicopter parent (I hope!). The Newsweek article described the process of boomer parents letting go of their children. I warn you, it doesn't sound pretty:

Most boomers don't want to be "helicopter parents," hovering so long that their offspring never get a chance to grow up. Well versed in the psychological literature, they know that letting go is a gradual process that should begin when toddlers take their first steps without a parental hand to steady them. And hovering is certainly not a new phenomenon; both Gen. Douglas MacArthur and President Franklin Delano Roosevelt had mothers who moved to be near them when they went to college. But with cell phones and e-mail available 24/7, the temptation to check in is huge. Some boomer parents hang on, propelled by love (of course) and insecurity about how the world will treat their children. After years of supervising homework, they think nothing of editing the papers their college students have e-mailed them. A few even buy textbooks and follow the course syllabi. Later they're polishing student résumés and calling in favors to get summer internships. Alarmed by these intrusions into what should be a period of increasing independence, colleges around the country have set up parent-liaison offices to limit angry phone calls to professors and deans. Parent orientations, usually held alongside the student sessions, teach how to step aside.

I will never understand these parents who hover over their children like this. Is it just one more selfish boomer characteristic that they feel their child is an extension of themselves and they try to live vicariously through them, or is it the fear that the kid will come home to live in the parent's basement if they do not succeed? Either way, wouldn't it be best to teach one's child independence and how to care for themselves? I thought that is what good parenting was about. Apparently, good parenting to some boomers is to extend adolescence to the age of 30-35 and then complain when Johnny or Jane moves home because they never learned to make it on their own. Truthfully, I would rather have a young adult who could care for themselves and had no college education (or attended a state school) than I would one who went to Harvard and then used me as a crutch the rest of his or her life.

Update: Some thoughts from Glenn (Instapundit) on why parents are having so few kids to "hover around."

Hope Chelsea's Not Working too Hard in the Sweatshop

Wow, Hillary Clinton makes one of the first true remarks of her political career and then she takes it back and apologizes. I guess she needs every vote she can get come 2008.

Happy Mother's Day and Other Rambling Thoughts

I hope all the moms out there are having a great Mother's Day weekend. We are having a mother's day brunch for our families-there will be six moms here, including me, so it should be fun. Lord knows, my mother deserves something for having had five kids--four of us before the age of 25 (I am in the middle). My siblings and I each have one child--I guess none of us could stand the thought of having two kids who would fight with each other and create chaos the way we did. I often think that the number of kids that people have is correlated with the size of their original family, in addition to how well that family managed with it's size.

For example, I know a woman who was an only child and had children later in life but was determined to have two children so that the first would not be an only child like she was. Apparently, she and her mother had a very symbiotic relationship and this woman felt that another child was needed to keep that smothering bond from rearing its ugly head in her new family. I, on the other hand, was always afraid to recapitulate my early years where noise was endless and uncontrollable, and privacy nonexistent. Of course, many people who come from larger families see their childhood as idyllic and go on to have large families themselves, like one law professor from a family of six who went on to have seven children. All the more power to those like her!

Anyone else notice that the size and function or dysfunction of the family you were born into shaped how large or small your current family is?

Medtees in the News and Study on Men and Guns

ABC Chicago has a story and video about Dr. Wes Fisher, an electrophysiologist and blogger, and his wife, Diane, a clinical psychologist, who run Medtees.com. Dr. Fisher was the star of our Cardiology podcast which is one of our most popular. The Fishers' site displays and sells various t-shirts that help patients feel better about their illnesses and can bring some laughter to a bad situation. I know they helped me.

Oh, and check out this post by Dr. Wes in which he makes fun of a "scientific" study on men and aggression from (who else?) the New York Times. The title of the study says it all--"In Men, Trigger-Happy May be a Hormonal Impulse."

Handling a gun stirs a hormonal reaction in men that primes them for aggression, new research suggests.

Psychologists at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill., enrolled 30 male students in what they described as a taste study. The researchers took saliva samples from the students and measured testosterone levels.

....The "taste sensitivity" phase of the experiment was in fact intended to measure aggressive impulses. After the writing assignment, the young men were asked to rate the taste of a drink, a cup of water with a drop of hot sauce in it. They were then told to prepare a drink for the next person in the experiment, adding as much hot sauce as they liked.

And this aggression is bad how? If you handle a gun to ward off an intruder, isn't the willingness to be aggressive necessary? The researchers found that those men who handled a gun later added more hot sauce in a drink for the next person who was going to do the experiment. After they found out the aim of the experiment, the subjects were found to be disappointed when the next student was not going to drink this wicked brew. Frankly, I would be disappointed that I was not serving it up to the anti-gun lobbyists who cooked up this little trigger-happy experiment.

Update: Jonah Goldberg has more on this aggressive absurdity.

Podcast with Ken Mehlman and Michael Barone

Articles such as this one make it sound like Conservatives are fleeing the Republican Party in droves. However, some are just disenchanted with the GOP and want to know how the party will address their concerns. Today, we are talking with Ken Mehlman, the chairman of the Republican National Committee and Michael Barone, Senior writer for US News & World Report and principal coauthor of The Almanac of American Politics. Chairman Mehlman discusses what the GOP is trying to do to keep the constituents happy and touches on topics of immigration and spending. We then turn to political expert, Michael Barone, for a discussion of the possibility of a third party in the 2008 Presidential election--he thought Oprah might have a chance! I sure hope not.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here or subscribe via iTunes. You can listen to our previous podcasts at the podcast archive here, and there's a dialup version here.

As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The 19th week of the Carnival of Homeschooling is up at the Why HomeSchool Blog. I like the post by She's Right in which she talks about her disdain for the NEA.

White Guilt

I have a column up at TCS about the new book, White Guilt, by Shelby Steele. Here is an excerpt:

While listening to the radio recently, I heard the writer Christopher Hitchens' riveting description of Shelby Steele's new book White Guilt : How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era. I promptly ordered it and have not been disappointed.

White Guilt is a powerful essay that (as George Will says in the cover blurb) "braids family memories with an acute understanding of national policies." Will says Steele "demonstrates what went wrong when whites for their reasons and blacks for theirs, embraced the idea that white guilt explains blacks' problems and can be the basis of polices for ameliorating them."

But what happens when our national policies are derived from white guilt and black anger rather than the universal principles that free societies aspire to -- freedom for the individual, rights for all individuals, equality under the law, equality of opportunity, and an inherent right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?"

Read the whole thing.

Dave, at The Crisper Blog, thinks french fries should remain legal.

Update: I see here that there is talk of banning french fries in schools. Do you think we could get them to ban the fruit pies and candy the schools manipulate our kids into selling every year to raise funds? I sure hope so, because I am tired of my kid looking pathetic and sad that she did not win a party in class because of her poor ability to sell this artery clogging fare endorsed by her principal. Why is it okay to be selling expensive fattening pies "for the good of the school" when it is not okay to provide cheap fattening fries "for the good of the children?" Who do the schools think are buying these fattening pies and candy? Uhhh...could it be the same parents who will serve it to the same kids who are not supposed to be eating this type of food at school? What kind of hypocritical message does this send to kids?

Carnival of the Insanities

The Carnival of the Insanities is up at Dr. Sanity's blog. She filed one of my posts under Breaking Medical News, stating that "men are living longer and the opposite gender will just have to suffer!"

Regulating French Fries?

So it appears there are health nuts, freaks, nanny state suck-ups--I mean advocates--who want to ban french fries and trans fat from grown adults. Should we even be having this conversation?

Update: Instead of just regulating french fries, maybe the government should also force all of those who are overweight to read Berkeley psychologist, Seth Roberts' new book, The Shangri-La Diet and follow it. I read the book this morning and apparently, all you do is eat one or two tablespoons of Extra Light Olive Oil and some sugar water daily to control the body's set point and lose weight. {Note: I am not saying that Roberts' plan does not work--it might be great, probably is--I liked the book very much--but I use it as an example of a current popular diet that if successful, could be the next step in government regulation}.

If the government can regulate trans fat, can they also regulate weight loss for the overweight? If so, how do I get a piece of the action? Can I write a diet solution and force others to follow my plan and buy my products and books? If so, where do I sign up? Because, of course, my needs and desire to see only slim productive citizens should take precedence over free choice and personal responsibility--or so, some misguided health nuts think.

The bottom line is, once we start on the slippery slope of regulating what people can consume based on how good it is for them, there is no telling how far we can go in deciding that free will, in and of itself, is bad for people.

Podcast on Alternative Fuels and Blog Advertising

Popular Mechanics editor Jim Meigs joins us again for a discussion of a recent PM article on alternative fuels. He talks about the pros and cons of ethanol, methanol, hydrogen and biodiesel fuels. Will our reliance on Middle East oil soon be obsolete?

We also hear from Henry Copeland of Blogads.com,who tells us about his recent demographic survey on blog readers. I found out some interesting tidbits about the kinds of people who read blogs and why. He also discusses the future of blog advertising as well as the future of advertising on podcasts. If you run a blog, read blogs or want to advertise on blogs, take a listen.

You can listen to the podcast here (no iPod necessary) or subscribe via iTunes. You can find previous podcasts here and there's a low-fi version for dialup available here.

As always, leave any comments and suggestions below.

Men Living Longer: Women Hardest Hit

The New York Times has an article today entitled, "The Bell Tolls for the Future Merry Widow"(Hat tip: swlip.com). In this pathetic excuse for an article, the theme appears to be that because men are living longer, this might put a cramp in women's lifestyles. For example:

By necessity, women have gotten used to a life lived for long periods without men. They have had the advantage in life expectancy since the late 19th century, when overall longevity started to climb. More than men, women have developed strong friendships to support them in their frailest hours. They have forced doctors to pay attention to their health concerns. They no longer have to cater to men. Travel companies now cater to their interests.

And then the article points out these pearls of wisdom from sell-out, I mean psychologist, John Gray:

"Women don't need men as much as men need women," said John Gray, the therapist and author of, most famously, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."
"Men have this expectation that women should take care of them," Dr. Gray said. "And she has her own expectations, that she should be there for him."

Particularly after retirement, she is not used to having him around quite so much. "It's different taking care of him for dinner, as opposed to him being home all the time, and expecting her to make every meal," Dr. Gray said.

(Men who divorce also remarry faster; within three years, compared with nine for women.) They're looking for love, Dr. Gray said, but they're also looking for lunch.

Then there are the disputes over sex. Dr. Gray said a woman's sex drive increases as she ages, while a man's declines. But then, is Viagra upsetting that balance, putting men in retirement homes permanently on the prowl?

John Gray needs women more than women need him -- who else would buy his stuff? Yeah, John, that will help you sell the remainder of whatever sell-out crap for women you are peddling this month.

Finally, this advice from another "expert" really puts the icing on the cake:

And a shorter widowhood means women will be better off financially, largely because, as Heidi Hartmann, a labor economist and the president of the Institute for Women's Policy Research, said, "Money attaches to the men."

There is a lot of poverty among older single women, so if men live longer, that's good economically, for women and men," Ms. Hartmann said. "Men are generally happier when they're married. The women may not be happier, but at least they've got more money.

Hell, if I was married to a woman like the author of the Times article, Kate Zernike, I would probably die early too. However, with fewer young men marrying, maybe women like her coming up won't have to worry about a husband. I hope that with increased longevity and Viagra, men will find that living single in their later years will beat out a black--I mean, merry widow--who wants nothing more than a free lunch herself.

There's a famous parody of a Times headline -- "World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit." But this is beyond parody: "Men Living Longer: Women Hardest Hit" (Hat Tip: swlip.com).

Airplanes, United 93 and Phobias

Well, the movie, United 93, is now in theaters--I would love to see it but I can't. Why? I have a horrible fear of flying. Okay, I know this is stupid, but apparently I am in good company with this phobia--it seems that Isaac Asimov, David Bowie and even the Dalai Lama had a fear of flying. Wikipedia describes the causes of fear of flying:

There are many things that cause one to fear flying, including a fear of closed in spaces (claustrophobia), such as that of an airplane cabin; a fear of heights (acrophobia); a feeling of not being in control (since a passenger is not piloting the plane and can't get out at will); previous traumatizing experiences while in flight; fear of hijacking or terrorism; fear of deep venous thrombosis; fear of turbulence; etc. While most people who are afraid of flying but to whom flight is a convenient way to conduct necessary business manage their fears well enough that they are able to fly, they may spend considerable time and emotional energy thinking about the dangers that may befall them during flight.

Okay, throw me in with the group that is afraid because of a lack of control--I hate the fact that I don't know who is piloting the plane. The crazy thing is, I used to be a student pilot as a teenager. At 14, I went to work in a shoe store to pay for flying lessons. The most exciting part of my life at that point was tooling around looking at the Smoky Mountains with my instructor, Emilio, in a Cessna 150. I was never afraid. Once my grandmother visited from Iowa and watched me take a lesson. I heard her ask my mother why in the world she would let her kid take these "risky" flying lessons. My mom just shrugged and said, "That's what Helen does, she wants to fly airplanes." Just as an aside, I have to say looking back, I really admire my mom for her nonchalant attitude--it fostered my independence and taught me to ignore societal pressure from others to behave in any type of stereotypical manner. Okay, maybe today it has its drawbacks because I often ignore societal cues as to how to act, but hey, it works for me.

Anyway, back to my fear of flying, it seemed to develop over time. I used to fly often when I lived in NYC and it was easy to get a flight to Europe or the Caribbean but somewhere along the line, my feelings changed and I became more and more afraid. I hate to sound like a mom, but I think it was after my kid was born that the fear intensified and I thought of what would happen if the plane crashed and my daughter was left to grow up without a mother. I do force myself to fly, for example, after 911, I was scheduled to do a talk show in Manhattan and got myself on the plane. Luckily, I was sitting next to a retired pilot turned business man who spent the trip telling me how 911 had "inconvenienced" him while traveling on that day. He was so narcissistic that I figured if the plane was hijacked or had problems, he would just push someone aside and fly the plane just so he would not be inconvenienced by the change in plans. I made it to New York, despite my white knuckles, and flew back without any problems but my fear continues.

I am afraid that if I see United 93, my fear will intensify and I will not make it onto the next plane trip I need to take--but then again, perhaps I should engage in some implosion therapy and plunge myself into the film and a subsequent trip to Europe or Israel to squelch my fear.

Has anyone seen the film or planning to do so? If so, let me know your impressions.

Shrinkwrapped sees the movie and gives his analysis.

Interview with MENS NEWS DAILY

Today, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mike Lasalle, the editor of Mens News Daily, a news and commentary site on men's issues. I figured that the editor of a large men's news site would have his pulse on what makes (some) men tick. Here are my questions and Mr. Lasalle's responses:

1) What made you decide to start MND--was it personal, political or do you just have an interest in men's issues?

When I first encountered the divorce "system" in 1995, I observed that while women were well represented and supported as a special class within the system, men were rarely acknowledged except in their capacity as income earners.

I also discovered a network of judges, lawyers, social workers, non-governmental organizations, and court-appointed evaluators. All were called to serve the needs of Judges and their protocols, and all were dependent on the State (and each other) for referrals and new business. Virtually all of these players operated under the pre-conceived notion that the State had already assumed the role of "father" under Parens Patriae. My role - the role I was given but did not want - was to be that of a quiet surf, too proud or too shamed to raise a voice in protest.

In my experience, family court was really Trial by Ordeal - and, instead of helping my family through a difficult circumstance, the system instead seemed bent on making it much worse. Not surprisingly, I also found that support for fathers within the system was virtually absent. Using the web, I learned of many other men and fathers around the globe whose experience with family court - and other branches of the legal system - was as Kafka-esque as my own.

While my experience has acquainted me with so-called "men's rights issues", MND itself is not affiliated with any men's organizations and is solely the product of my own imagination. The site is the manifestation of my conclusion that the rules-of-engagement between the sexes is so murky and in such flux right now, you need a daily news source just to keep up with it.

2) What are the demographics of men on your site--are they married, single, divorced? What are their age ranges? What issues are the men interested in--child custody, marriage, men's rights?

It's about an 80%-20 distribution between men and women.

Our users span a range of demographic particulars - but I expect that most support what I support: liberty of expression in an free marketplace of ideas.

3) Men are marrying less and less. Do you have any insight from your readers as to why they do not want to marry? Fewer men are going to college; any insight into why not? More men between the ages of 22 and 34 are living at home--what is the general concensus from your readers as to why?

I think many men learn about the state of marriage the hard way - through painful experience. It's difficult to convey basic facts about the average man's prospects, since young men often believe they are the exceptions. But the raw facts are simple enough: the average American man is likely to be divorced at least once in his lifetime. And there's the rub: men and women across our society think marriage vows are situational. So, in place of a sacred union, marriage has become an expensive-to-dissolve legal contract whose disposition effects the children, the estate, and the future earning power of the disenfranchised party. (At least the wedding party was a blast...)

Fewer men are going to college because the fast track to education is reserved for the 'disadvantaged' sex - women. Men are thus squeezed to fit the new agenda, thereby themselves becoming a disadvantaged underclass: college graduation rates for men are fast approaching a lopsided 40% compared to women.

Title IX is a clear example of gender-conscious social engineering. The furor caused by Larry Summers' comments last year regarding women in science - and the dull apologies that followed - is another fair testament. On the other hand " slacker men" hits a nerve as a caricature because American men really do seem to be throwing-in the towel on starting a family or planning beyond their own needs in life.

Some say the evils of radical feminism are responsible for men's troubles nowadays. That may be true, but in my opinion "radical feminism" is a symptom of men's malaise, not its cause.

4) How do men on your site feel about women, feminists in particular? What would a psychologist or others working with men really need to know about their psychology to make a difference in their lives?

I think the vast majority of the men visiting MND have healthy relationships with women. I don't think American men are 'angry' at women. They're angry at the social and legal customs that sometimes place women above the rules that men must follow. (Part of my job is to highlight those disparities in the stories I cover.)

I think men's psychology is fundamental: most of us are purposeful. Most of us are idealistic. Most of us are loyal. Most of us want the best for all concerned.

I think that about covers it.

5) What is the best way to advocate for men's rights and issues? Grassroots organizations, writing to politicians, protesting in the streets?

There are many organizations out there, and a quick search of the web will put you in contact with local groups.

National organizations like ACFC are a good place to start - they can put you in touch with local chapters everywhere across the country. There are many others, of course - at both the local and international level. Most are great. Caveat Emptor, of course!